There’s an epidemic facing men today called fear and inadequacy. Men have been conditioned by society to believe that they must possess a vocabulary of seductively hypnotic words (game), have thousands of dollars in the bank, posses the most expensive cars and clothes, and live in a lavishly furnished home in the hills. This laundry list of accomplishments is what society tells men they need to attract women and validate their status as “The Man. “
Don’t get me wrong; lots of money, a beautiful home and designer clothes definitely won’t hurt your chances of attracting beautiful women. And it certainly will make you feel like “the man.” But the question I’d like to pose is, “How do you feel about yourself when you have none of those things, and it seems like they’re alluding you?”
It wasn’t too long ago when my value as a man was dependent on the amount of money in my bank account, women, and my material possessions. Symotainisly, the sum of all of those pursuits were just about zero, which made me feel worthless. I didn’t have any women who expressed interest in me. I barely had enough money to afford gas, and my material possessions were seemingly non-existent. In my eyes, I wasn’t worth a damn. I just didn’t believe that I was good enough, and it felt like I was getting exactly what I deserved.
Eventually, people started to treat me in ways that begin to align with my toxic feelings toward myself. The saddest part was that I didn’t have enough self-love or self-respect to fight back or stand up for myself. Deep down inside, their harsh treatment toward me was just confirmation that I wasn’t worthy of being treated any better. It was one of the lowest points in my life.
ROCK BOTTOM BUILDS STRONGER MEN
Although rock-bottom is a place of despair, it’s also a place of reflection and planning. When you’re alone and examining your situations and place in life, specific scenarios start to make sense to you. In my negative paradigm, I believed that I was a broke failure with nothing to offer that no woman wanted. But in God’s eyes, he was showing me how to love myself when I had none of the possession that I thought would make me a man. Outside of the love of God, self-love is the most important type of love a man can receive. And just like the love of God is unconditional, so must your love be toward yourself.
Once I accepted that revelation, it was like the darkness dissipated, and the sun began to shine as brightly as ever. I was alone, with no money, no fancy things, no women, but I started to love me for me.
SELF-LOVE SHOULD DEFINE YOUR MASCULINITY
Ironically, once I started to love myself, the financial opportunities began to roll in. I was able to improve my standard of living by updating my wardrobe, renting my own apartment, and being in a confident state of mind to court women who caught my attention. Once you begin to love yourself, you’ll start walking away from women and situations that don’t benefit you. However, without self-love, this type of discernment can’t exist.
Through learning to love myself when I had nothing, I discovered that I was more than enough for any woman that I desired. I was more than enough to conquer any task. And just as my adversity taught me how to love myself through bad times, so will yours.
May you find the king within you, my friend!
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